Have you ever had a conflict with a strong willed child and seen in the reflection of their eyes your own strong will? As you stake your claim, set your boundary, demand their cooperation for being an obedient kid, you see a bold determined mini me. How do you respond? Continue to speak, deny their voice, say, ” I am your mom, you are the child.” or do you say, ” Because, I said so.” I shutter as I ponder, oh no, have I become my mom?
A mother hen wants to direct her chicks not keep them bound in the henhouse. She wants to provide a space of peace, love, instruction and real life experience. When her chicks leave the roost she wants the best for them. She wants their voice to be heard, their gifts to be shown and their walk to bring harmony to the brood. We have a chicken coop, there are six “Clucky Ladies”, yes that is the name of their coop. Surprisingly, each chicken has a different personality. There are leaders and followers. Those that love to be held and those that are free spirited. However, when my daughter or I let them free range who do they follow? You guessed it, their lead hens, Kristina and I. They trust us to keep them safe and fed. They stick together for the most part and when there is a predator or when competing for food, they are loud and obnoxious just like their human counterparts. They poke with their sharp beaks to get their turn being held.
I wrote in my gratitude journal last night, I am grateful for the learning lessons of life; mistakes in speaking not listening, short tempers and yelling are a sign that there is a block in my reflection of Jesus to my own child. Are we not created with two ears and one mouth? Is there a reason I should shut my mouth and listen more. Non validation is a block to a healthy relationship. I have been on the receiving end of this form of destruction. We must choose to break this cycle. We must step back, deep breathe taking a deep inspiration to the count of four and expire at a count of 6 – 8. As we do this breathing exercise we can feel our brain fog of strong will clear and maybe, just maybe, open our mind to another persons feeling and hear their deepest thoughts. We can count to 10, as maybe our own parent has instructed. Maybe there is something to that skill. We can ask Jesus into our experience and relationship especially with those we love. We must allow our broken patterns to be changed as we let Him move in the space between us and them. However or whoever they may be. He will make a way, Will we let him lead?