Reflections: Strong will

Have you ever had a conflict with a strong willed child and seen in the reflection of their eyes your own strong will? As you stake your claim, set your boundary, demand their cooperation for being an obedient kid, you see a bold determined mini me. How do you respond? Continue to speak, deny their voice, say, ” I am your mom, you are the child.” or do you say, ” Because, I said so.” I shutter as I ponder, oh no, have I become my mom?

A mother hen wants to direct her chicks not keep them bound in the henhouse. She wants to provide a space of peace, love, instruction and real life experience. When her chicks leave the roost she wants the best for them. She wants their voice to be heard, their gifts to be shown and their walk to bring harmony to the brood. We have a chicken coop, there are six “Clucky Ladies”, yes that is the name of their coop. Surprisingly, each chicken has a different personality. There are leaders and followers. Those that love to be held and those that are free spirited. However, when my daughter or I let them free range who do they follow? You guessed it, their lead hens, Kristina and I. They trust us to keep them safe and fed. They stick together for the most part and when there is a predator or when competing for food, they are loud and obnoxious just like their human counterparts. They poke with their sharp beaks to get their turn being held.

I wrote in my gratitude journal last night, I am grateful for the learning lessons of life; mistakes in speaking not listening, short tempers and yelling are a sign that there is a block in my reflection of Jesus to my own child. Are we not created with two ears and one mouth? Is there a reason I should shut my mouth and listen more. Non validation is a block to a healthy relationship. I have been on the receiving end of this form of destruction. We must choose to break this cycle. We must step back, deep breathe taking a deep inspiration to the count of four and expire at a count of 6 – 8. As we do this breathing exercise we can feel our brain fog of strong will clear and maybe, just maybe, open our mind to another persons feeling and hear their deepest thoughts. We can count to 10, as maybe our own parent has instructed. Maybe there is something to that skill. We can ask Jesus into our experience and relationship especially with those we love. We must allow our broken patterns to be changed as we let Him move in the space between us and them. However or whoever they may be. He will make a way, Will we let him lead?

Salmon or Sheep

It has been 2 years since I last posted, joys and trials etched in our lives and in the world. Where would I be without my faith in Jesus? A salmon flowing upstream without a guide, swimming against the worlds’ current and yet more in synchronicity with my Creator God!!! He never leaves or forsakes. He is steadfast in His love for me, He is my strength when times are chaotic; when those I love turn to Him for the same peace I stand in awe.

John 14:27 I am leaving you with a gift – peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

When those in my life, choose fear, shame, guilt, or regret for past choices over the healing grace of Jesus, I am reminded that it isn’t about me as Savior. I must not get in the way, by my words or actions, of Jesus instructions to His children. I may have been my childrens’ first seed planter, sowing seeds of faith and giving instruction, but The Gardener, Our Father, may send others to till the soil, water in desert times, or the trials of life may be used to burn off the chaff. I want to see the fruits of my love and labor, how much more does their Father in heaven. So stepping out of the way, detaching in love, yet praying for those I love is my calling. In scripture, I am reminded that Jesus will leave the 99, for the one lost sheep. Trust in Him brings hope.

Luke 15:7 There is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over the 99 others who are righteous and have not strayed away!

It is about leading those I love to the grace and mercy of Jesus who died for a sinner like me. It is about loving those (I do not understand) as Jesus would. Only Jesus can heal the broken hearted, we must reflect Him by speaking the truth in love; our children are created in the Image of God and in our human form, we are weak and in need of a Savior who understands every blemish and loves us anyway.

Peter is an example in the Bible of a man wanting to be steadfast in faith in Jesus. He walked with the Savior yet he still being human, denied Jesus. Yet Jesus forgave Him and reminded Peter in John 21: 15 – 17 that Peter would be used to feed the sheep of His pasture. If we are willing and obey the call of Christ, He will use our testimony to make a difference in the lives of many. He will use every part of our lives; joys and sorrows for good.

John 21:21 Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.”

It is about praying unceasingly as a mother, sister, wife should for lives transformed by His grace. It is believing without seeing that He will complete the work He started in those He calls His.

Acts 2:39 This promise is to you, to your children and those far away ( examining their lives, needing salvation) — all have been called by the Lord our God.

Easter is a time to reflect on the love of God by sending His Son, Jesus to atone for our sins. Jesus loves us that much. He died a sinners death on the cross to provide a way for our eternal life. He will finish the work He starts. We must have faith over fear, love over judgement, patience over immediate solution. He waits for each of us to choose Him. Praise the Lord!!!

Isaiah 41:10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

The Comparison Trap

In this world of technology, every day becomes a battle of resisting comparison. Whether it is access to Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or Snapchat, the ability to see other people’s lives in a photograph or with a post can be a daily struggle of discontent. The photograph or post may appear to reflect a positive, healthy relationship, or successful career and life, but looks or posts can be deceiving. No one wants other friends and family to believe there is trouble in paradise. Appearances must show “everything is awesome”, just like a kid’s movie, Lego Land portrayed. The sad part about this representation is it is a lie, it brings a person more sadness. You can’t hide forever. The fallacy of “Let’s keep up appearances” is physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually exhausting. It ultimately causes more envy, more loneliness and more depression. If we aren’t able to be transparent and real with at least a few trustworthy friends we will become increasingly isolated. The Lord calls us to community, all humans need connection and to feel heard and understood. To feel invisible and isolated is not the answer.

What was deemed a community access point, ie.. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat has instead lead to more isolation. The number of Followers may seem to say a person is popular and well connected often times it may mean the exact opposite; multiple acquaintances but less meaningful relationships.

I find the less I reach out to the social media sites the more content I am. I was listening to a podcast from John Eldridge today, “The World Part 1”. Mr. Eldridge and his fellow radio commentators were talking about the increase in depression, loneliness and its cause of discontent being The Comparison Trap.

We used to value our differences in likes and dislikes. We used to stand for our opinions, however, it is becoming more common that all opinions are considered above the Creators. Our need to feel the affirmation of others has overtaken our self-esteem. Even if I was to post a blog on this topic, I may anxiously await a Follower’s opinion as a like or dislike, or may anticipate a comment of affirmation after publishing my next blog.

What has become with a society that seeks constant reassurance instead of being content that the Lord creates each of us uniquely with a specific purpose? We seek human affirmation over His. We must seek meaningful trusting relationships with a few chosen friends who encourage and support one another (Isn’t that what Jesus did with his disciples?), friends who listen attentively, who give advice when asked, who are willing to be transparent in good and not so good days. Friends with whom we can share our insecurities, joys and failures are priceless. I am blessed to have some of those friends, I am forever grateful for their input, their listening ear, their discipline in words or actions with love. I hope I am seen in the same light. May that Light be the light that reflects from me, as I read of Jesus.

Destiny

The only person you are destined to become is the person you decided to be.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

What a profound statement by Ralph Waldo Emerson, our destiny is our choice. Sometimes I can think the life of someone I care about is set in stone. Temporarily, it may seem that their future is preset by the generations before, however, there is a reason that we all have free will and that is to make our own choices. Those choices pave the way for our own opportunities to learn and grow. Those choices may be for our good such as the good company we keep, the ability to resist temptation, and the willingness to look at mistakes as just that mistakes. Or our alternative choice is to connect ourselves with company that corrupts, seek risky choices, push aside the idea that we are called to avoid temptations, live the world view lifestyle, and sit in the pity party of our choices believing things will never change.

Proverbs 3: 5 -6 tells us ” Trust in the Lord with all our heart, lean not on our own understanding, in all our ways acknowledge Him and He will direct our path.”

Could it be possible that our life will include trials, challenges, joys, happiness and consequences related to that free will? Yes, of course!!! Life is a journey with light and dark contrasts, meant to provide a kaleidoscope of many reflections. These reflections can bring new insight into our life purpose. There are sunny yellow days, pink loving days, teal blue cool days, lavender peaceful days and black darkness filled days.

There is always the opportunity to learn from the mistakes, not hold onto failure and stay stuck. Failures give us a chance to see the infallibility of being human, to seek the Lord who knows we are not perfect and wants to guide our lives. Failure is not a dead end but an opportunity to take the other road that leads to freedom. Our Lord wants to take us by the hand and point the way to redemption, reconciliation, and a life lived abundantly with Him. Lightness over darkness can be achieved when we choose obedience to His path and lay down our need to plan the journey.

If I think with the mindset of the temporal I may feel overwhelmed and hopeless. I choose instead to think with a mind for eternity. I choose to use quiet time reading His Word; seeking greater understanding for the ups and downs or play worship music that soothes my soul. As I sing about His promises, slowly but surely my heart and soul connect on a deeper level with the Lover of my Soul, Jesus. I choose to pray intercessory prayers for those who are on challenging journeys. The phrase, Letting go and letting God, can lead my life and the lives of those I love. I choose to spend time with friends that support and encourage me as I hope to reciprocate with them the same.

Your destiny may be your choice in some measure, however, you do not walk the steps alone, unless you choose that path. Seek peace and direction from the only One who really understands you, Let go and Let God!! There is something amazing about holding hands with the One who created you and knows your destiny. Realize that the kaleidoscope reflection may not be clear yet, however, that doesn’t mean the image won’t be beautiful in the end. Open your eyes to the colors of the day.